Saturday, February 18, 2012

Working on my Fitness: Unpleasant Surprises

I went on a four mile walk today and was all too aware of the revealing tightness of my running pants. As I walked, I felt mostly self-conscious but also slightly excited at the possibility that I might get rapped at again. My stories of being rapped at twice before are getting stale.

One time went something like this - "I got two cups, girl, and a pitcher, girl. And...and...I can't really rap, girl"
You might recall that I started taking short walk/jogs in the mornings after the growing size of my gut caused me to wonder if I might be pregnant. It's going pretty well. I mean, I'm averaging 16 minute miles, which is pretty much swift like a fox.  I'm kinda awesome at walk/jogging.

Look how swift!
You know what is not awesome? Yesterday I looked down and caught a glimpse of my shadow in motion. Holy. Freaking. Shit. Is that MY ass I can see from the front? Is that MY ass that is still bouncing even after my legs have stopped moving? Why yes, yes in fact it is.

funny gifs
There's no way I am literally showing my ass. Let this serve as a visual aid.
Little Korean ladies on their afternoon walks looked away in fear, and Buena Park school children getting off the school bus cried out for their mommies as I walked by. Fashion bloggers appeared to snap my picture and use it as evidence for their campaigns against stretchy pants. I could do nothing but scurry home and get on the scale. Because I must hate myself.

I don't want to have a small butt, but I was just unpleasantly surprised by the jiggle factor. Facebook and Gchat research pointed to compression shorts as a possible solution, but until I get some, I will just have to make peace with my jiggle. And maybe wear sweats.

1 comment:

  1. I would submit that you consider not being so hard on yourself? But also THAT BOUNCING JELLO THING IS SO COOL. Also, I lurrrrrve the new look of the blog! The bits of light and the palm trees and the font and even the new title! Loves.


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