Summer Shopping on the Cheap(ish)

I love to shop, specifically for good deals. Stores like Nordstrom Rack are my playground. I can stay for hours! But, with this whole trying to save money business, those frequent Marshalls or Rack trips are gone.

I decided to allow myself $100 or less for some summer basics that are versatile, easy to mix and match. After taking stock of what's already in my closet, I made a very crude moodboard and got to ordering.

Old Navy T-Shirt Dress (Tall)

This dress has pretty good reviews, comes in tall sizes, and was under $20 with a promotion. I ordered a Tall medium and Tall large. The medium fit well but was fitted enough that it was a little sexy and required I be more mindful of my undergarment choice. I wanted something more casual, so I went with the large. After a couple hours of wear, it stretched out so much I was embarrassed to be wearing it in public. I hope it shrinks in the wash. (PS: There was also a bodycon version of the dress, but I'm not sure if it's still available)

Old Navy Linen Blend Shirt (Tall)

I got this because it looked comfortable for the hot summer and work appropriate. I always forget how long Old Navy shirts are in Tall. I'm 5'11" and most of my height comes from my legs, so most regular sizes are long enough in the torso for me. Sleeve length, dress/skirt length, and inseams are where I require tall sizes. Anyway, in a Tall medium the shirt was tunic length, which wasn't what I was looking for.

Array of Old Navy and Gap denim shorts

Oh, the shorts! I ordered six pairs of shorts, at least. I got different styles, washes, and sizes, but I had my heart set on the Gap boyfriend shorts. I was going for the 90s throwback light wash, a color that inspired a look of disgust from my husband. Turns out, I'm too curvy for boyfriend shorts. In my regular size, the thighs were tighter than I wanted, and when I went up a size, the shorts were just too big overall and made me look kind of huge.

I went with these Old Navy boyfriend shorts in my normal size, ultramarine wash. The inseam is a little short (3 1/2 inches, no clear difference between the Tall and regular sizes) and the thighs slightly fitted, but they got a thumbs up from the husband and are comfortable enough, especially for $20. 

Target Maxi Dresses

I started with the black and white dress, which I loved. However, I went with the black dress because it's easier to wear. It doesn't show off your body's imperfections as much and, like the large ON dress, has less specific undergarment requirements. It was $20 with an apparel coupon on the Cartwheel app. Both dresses are plenty long for wearing with flat sandals.

I also ordered some sandals and a pair of Keds from Nordstrom using a giftcard but they haven't arrived yet. Not to mention a J Crew order due to an untimely return of some work clothes I ordered in the Spring that left me with store credit instead of a refund.

21 Day Crap Cleaning Challenge

Achieving results, y'all (via Forbes, who else)

I’m still doing a decent job of cooking regularly, planning meals and using coupons to save money where I can, and exercising more than I had been (which was not at all, so that’s like an easy A.)

Now I really have to get serious about organizing the apartment because even when it's clean, it still feels like a huge mess. I’m going to have to do this in phases and eventually totally reconfigure how we use our storage. 

I am getting serious, Jermaine!

First up, I have to get rid of all the extra crap. I thought one of those 21-day or some other number of days challenges would help, but I had to customize my own because nothing I found made sense for our space. For example, I don’t have a laundry room, or the luxury of devoting an entire cabinet to Tupperware.

Behold, my 21-day challenge crap cleaning challenge:

1.    Linen cabinet

2.    Craft cabinet

3.    Under kitchen sink

4.    Under bathroom sink

5.    Freezer

6.    Refrigerator

7.    Mail/Paperwork

8.    Bedroom closet – clothes

9.    Bedroom closet – drawers and shelves

10.  Utensil drawers

11.  Baking and spice cabinets

12.  Dishware cabinet

13.  Pots and Pans

14.  Hall closet

15.  Medicine cabinet/storage

16.  Media stand

17.  Under bed

18.  Handbag

19.  Work bag

20.  Car

21.  Balcony closet

Except I’ve already done four of these, so I guess it’s my 17-day crap cleaning challenge? And do I have to do this in order? I don’t want to. This is my customized challenge, so I say no!

After I clean everything out, I will devise a system for organizing what’s left. You know I’m already on my Pinterest game for this one.

Do You Ever Dream of Candy Coated Raindrops? I DO!

Do y'all love candy as much as I do? I fucking love candy. Kim Kardashian would smell a cavity on me if we ever hugged, I just know it. Sometimes I think I might be six years old. Give me some chicken strips, fries, and some candy for dessert and I'm goooooood. I also love chips, sooooo.

Remember this?

I bought a box of these tiny bags at Target. Now you can pack little tiny candy portions in your lunch!!!Target has all SORTS of candy varieties just waiting to be packed in your lunch, or your children's lunch I suppose. That may not be the greatest idea lest you end up raising a child that is a lot like me as an adult.

I bring two, which is 75 calories worth of pure sugary, chewy, fruity bliss.

Treat yo'self. 

It's the Freakin' Weekend - Make Yourself a Drink

Summer is almost over! (Don't you dare tell me that it's already over because it's after Labor Day and kids are back in school. Don't you dare!)

 Before summer is actually gone, you should take an opportunity to enjoy its bounty. By that I mean, you should take some summer fruit and mix it with ice and alcohol before it is too cold and too cost prohibitive to do so.

Skills, I like to think I has them.

While in Miami, I felt like it was only natural that I drink copious amounts of rum-based beverages. I also insisted on stocking the condo with fruit, less because I was feeling health conscious and more because it seemed like the right thing to do in such a tropical environment. The rum and fruit came together with mint in a glorious union known as the mojito. I made classic mojitos, strawberry mojitos, and watermelon mojitos.(See above photo, obvi) I suggest you make some tonight, and if you don't know how, you're 'bout to know.

I have this sitting on my vanity. I don't do yoga. Get yours here.

First you will need to make a simple syrup. If you want to get fancy with some sort of flavor-infused simple syrup, please, go nuts. I am going to put the simple in simple syrup. It's basically one part water to one part sugar, brought to a boil until the sugar dissolves and then cooled. It keeps for awhile, so if you make too much, do not worry. This will give you a reason to make more drinks over the coming weeks. In fact, make too much.

Muddle 1.5 ounces of simple syrup in a glass with a whole mess of mint leaves and a wedge of lime. I don't have a muddler so I use a spoon. Muddle the shit out of that mint, lime, and syrup.Some recipes will tell you to use the juice of the lime, but all sorts of delicious lime flavors comes out of the rind as you muddle. Use the wedge.

I leave all the bits in, though they do get in the way, so if you must, take out the lime wedge. Then add 2 ounces of clear rum and a generous splash of club soda. Ice too. Mix and serve. To make the flavored kind, add some strawberry slices or scoops of watermelon (or whatever fruit you want to use. probably not apples, though) to the muddling step.

I'm so vain I thought this post was about me and not the drinks.

That's it! Easy! Go get drunk!

Can We Talk About The Biebs?

Do you like him? Oh, you say you don't? Don't fight it. Resistance is futile.

Years ago when he was a singing, touring baby, I thought the whole Justin Bieber business was ridiculous. He told me never say never. I ignored him. But then what did he go and do? Ripped off dubstep and ran away with my heart.


skip that long silly intro. 

Oh, Biebs. All that good stuff is for as long as I love you? In that case, you will always be my platinum, my silver, and my gold. It's also cute that you think you'd be okay with us being starving, homeless, or broke. With all your zillion dollars, I'm not too worried, though it is a beeeeautiful sentiment. Just lovely.

Big Sean, I gotta say - certainly not your best work. Being someone's hallelujah does make sense though. I get you, Sean.

I still agree with my friend Adrienne (and this entire site) that he looks like a lesbian, and his hair is overrated. Kind of.

Happy Trails to Meeeeee - Santiago Oaks Regional Park

Down to just one car last week, I had to drive my boo to work early Saturday morning. Most of the fibers in my body wanted to stumble to the car in my PJs, but I threw some stretchy, ass-jiggle highlighting pants on and toddled to the car with sneakers in hand. I figured I should take this opportunity to hit a trail before it got hot. After dropping off the boo, I coffee'd up and resisted the urge to go home and get some work done on the couch.

I love the couch.

Despite the siren's call of a lazy Saturday, I drove toward the Santiago Oaks Regional Park which was recommended by a friend. I shared the road only with old trucks whose drivers were heading off to manicure the lawns and gardens of the expansive Orange County homes. The farther I drove, the more rural the landscape became. At least, it was reminiscent of a rural area but one that is very expensive. Turns out, this is what is referred to as an equestrian community. This explains the horse trails and stables and McMansions.  

Another oldie but goodie. Somehow, he did not make an appearance in the equestrian community

I followed the helpful signs toward the park and noticed several gated communities and 90s era (once) new developments that almost made me pause. Confident in my friend's suggestion, I continued on. The road narrowed, a horse and its rider were spotted, and suddenly there were trees everywhere. I gasped. I stared. I squealed. The park attendant asked if I might mind paying the parking fee and getting out of the way.

Who doesn't love sun poking through trees? Monsters, that's who!

Historic Orange Grove. Look but don't touch.

a leetle creek!

The OC Parks website will tell you that Santiago Oaks provides a sense of removal from the urbanized environment, and you know what? This is not a lie. Even just sitting in the parking lot, I felt so at peace I almost cried.

surrounded!

historic creek dam. not for swimming, damn.

it's all shady and tree covered and then there's this valley type thing out of nowhere!

for when you get thirsty. intended for horses, but hey.

I have nothing bad to say. No snarky jokes to tell. There was hardly any litter and no graffiti that I saw. Just a beautiful place full of people there for more or less the same reason I was. I give it five Haribo gummy bear bags! (out of 5)

The New People's Champ of Making Parties

I threw myself a party once. It went pretty well. I've arranged birthday happy hours, which involves little more than picking a location and sending an appointment in Outlook, and those went well too. I think it's because of those, um, "events" that my sister decided to turn to me to request a party for her birthday this year. She asked me before Christmas, giving me plenty of time to plan a party for somewhere around March 31st.

Did I mention she wanted it to be a surprise? Yes. She requested a surprise.

If you want great ideas on party decor, planning, and the like, there are many online resources to help you and also make you feel like a loser for not being able to execute all of the fabulous ideas, even when you start planning months in advance. I made a fabulous surprise party for my sister in April, and it was perfect. Not because I implemented all the million+one ideas that I found on the trusty interwebs, but because the end result was beautiful and great fun. I'm pretty sure that is more important than custom appetizer picks and candy buffets with professionally calligraphied (that IS a word) labels.

See my inspiration. I was feeling pretty ambitious.

I wanted flowers in mason jars and candles in big hurricane vases. I wanted to wake up knowing how to make a flower arrangement. I wanted an unlimited budget. I wanted!

I wanted to serve a few cocktails and mocktails. I NEEDED a photo wall and planned to use fabric for the background. And who doesn't want tissue flowers or poofs or lanterns or all of the above?

Other items on my (ideal) party to-do list included: finding a venue that was wheelchair accessible, coming up with activities to give us something to do (some family parties have been a little...stiff), creating the perfect playlist, getting enough indoor seating and tables (a party in Portland in April - using the outdoors is no guarantee), figuring out a way to keep the kids happy, creating and executing the perfect menu, and actually pulling off the surprise!

Here are some pictures of the actual event:

L to R, T to B: flowers and notecards for birthday wishes; buffet; bar tables with more flowers and notecards; and appetizer table with Wii (that didn't get played due to abundant sunshine)

The decor ended up being heavy on the green and light on the blue in spots, and heavy on the blue in others. We ended up not having any pretty pitchers to serve the drinks with. I think we used a regular ole' cooler when we realized we didn't have galvanized drink tubs. The indoor activities were unnecessary because the surprisingly amazing weather drew everyone outside. Lastly, I had way too much food and seating because some party guests weren't able to come.

Look at that face.

But who cares? There is definitely a middle ground between party perfection and something with as much thought and effort as a bad frat party.

The look on her face was worth every moment of planning and every plan gone awry.

We had good food, good music, great friends and family, and lots of laughs. My sister Sarah acted as head chef, and together we made potato salad, collard greens, green salad with beets and blood oranges, spicy coleslaw, carmelized onion dip, and taco dip (I promise its good). My brother-in-law provided delicious pulled pork, and we also had a fancy meats, cheeses, and olive platter.

Liz's friends helped us mix up a pom-lemonade vodka cocktail, and also had beer, sodas, and sparkling water.

It was a freakin' feast.

 
I brought what I thought was enough decorative paper to be a backdrop for the photo wall. It was not. So, no backdrop. And you can see the tape holding up the custom sign I made. Meh, what are you gonna do?

The photo wall was so fun. Those pictures are my favorite from all the party pics!

Aw, mother and daughters! Let's just pretend that my mom's eyes are open. 

Also, did I tell you that the sign is gold because it was Liz's golden birthday? She turned 31 on the 31st (of March).

Here are Liz and some party guests enjoying the day. It was so sunny and beautiful Liz could hardly see. One thing I love about Portlanders is their enthusiam for nice weather. Since most times of the year the sun rarely shines, people waste NO time in moving a party outside on a nice day. Even if that means sitting on the ground, which some people did.

Also, please note the adorable tots. My cousin is showing off her manicure, if that wasn't obvious.


We didn't get any pictures of The Liz Quiz, a trivia game I made up about my sister that I forced everyone to participate in, even my friend's boyfriend who had met Liz for the first time that day. I was quite pleased with myself.

If I do say so myself, I made a pretty badass party. Normal, not ready for a magazine shoot, but badass nonetheless. I am a normal party making champion.

Oh, Yes They Did! A Story of my For Realzzz Birthday

So, even though I started out all sadcatinastripedshirt-like, my birthday ended up being kind of great. This is mostly due to the wonderful, loving people who spoiled me with love and fabulous things that had me saying, "oh no you didn't! But ohhhh yes you did!"

1. I have a starbucks card, and I am a gold member. As a result, I get free birthday drinks. I got something big and expensive. Holla!
2. I bought myself a cupcake and a fancy root beer. The cupcake wasn't great, but I ate it anyway.

At least it was cute.

3. I got a lot of computer love via facebook.
4. I got a lot of love on the telephone line via phone calls and text messages.
5. My sister sent me a video of my nephew singing me happy birthday.
6. My boo gave me a card that made me cry and hid this present for me in an empty toblerone box:

Those some big, green stones!

7. He also took me out to dinner and let me choose the restaurant. I chose a hipster nightmare called Chapter One: The Modern Local (wtf, right? I had high hopes) in gentrifying Downtown Santa Ana. Worst service ever in life. I think the spray tanned and bedazzled Orange County gods were punishing me for the blasphemous things I said about Pat and Oscar's.  

Special features: ranch dressing snobbery and long wait times after ordering

8. There were birthday cards from friends, a card and giftcard from my brother, and a present from my mama waiting in the mailbox! She sent me a trio of journals and notepads.
9. My life twin took me out to a lunch that included an appetizer, meal, AND dessert and coffee! More is more!
10. And lastly, I arrived home yesterday to find this beauty waiting for me in the kitchen:

Mmhmm, that says what you think it says

Thank you Mom, Dad, and Liz! I am so excited. What should I cook in it first??

There are also a couple late arrival presents on their way, a birthday happy hour with friends, and potential jury duty coming my way. Uh, hello happy belated birthday! Jury duty is what's up. I'm going to walk in and say, "it makes sense for me to be here as I have just turned the page into age 28."

I don't know how to end this post. End.